Comments on: A Special Grief http://uncorked.org/medley/2010/02/a-special-grief/ Since 1999 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 14:54:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Dan Lyke http://uncorked.org/medley/2010/02/a-special-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-2860 Dan Lyke Tue, 02 Feb 2010 19:04:00 +0000 http://uncorked.org/medley/?p=1266#comment-2860 Yeah, my mom lost two kids, one at a day old from a heart defect, one later from SIDs. Neither of those losses was due to, say, crashing a home-made gravity powered go cart into the leach filled swamp, or riding my bike five miles along rural no shoulder roads into town, or any number of other potentially hazardous activities. Yeah, my mom lost two kids, one at a day old from a heart defect, one later from SIDs. Neither of those losses was due to, say, crashing a home-made gravity powered go cart into the leach filled swamp, or riding my bike five miles along rural no shoulder roads into town, or any number of other potentially hazardous activities.

]]> By: Medley http://uncorked.org/medley/2010/02/a-special-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-2859 Medley Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:49:09 +0000 http://uncorked.org/medley/?p=1266#comment-2859 Yeah, I've read a lot about the free range kids stuff (and was one myself)... my fears don't yet stem from worries about bad guys in the world (much), but more freak accidents and illnesses. I'm totally sold on the notion that the statistics do NOT support the levels of parental paranoia that are common and have had (gentle) discussions with people who are convinced, for example, that putting pictures of their kids on the Internet is so risky that they won't do it. But, it's well-known that we (as a species) are not good evaluators of risk. Anyway... Yeah, I’ve read a lot about the free range kids stuff (and was one myself)… my fears don’t yet stem from worries about bad guys in the world (much), but more freak accidents and illnesses. I’m totally sold on the notion that the statistics do NOT support the levels of parental paranoia that are common and have had (gentle) discussions with people who are convinced, for example, that putting pictures of their kids on the Internet is so risky that they won’t do it. But, it’s well-known that we (as a species) are not good evaluators of risk. Anyway…

]]> By: acm http://uncorked.org/medley/2010/02/a-special-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-2858 acm Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:35:18 +0000 http://uncorked.org/medley/?p=1266#comment-2858 I know what you mean about the fear-of-loss. I don't think it haunts me in a continual manner, but I do know that my reaction to (the very common) fictional portrayals of kids in danger -- whether it's the driving force for a testosterone-driven action movie or the story of some child as a hospital patient -- is completely different now that I am a parent. I'm much more likely to overreact, or get teary, at the worry or at the breathless reunion, sometimes more likely to feel bitter about the manipulation, sometimes almost unable to watch. I suspect that that won't diminish with time, which is perhaps why those stories continue to work for the larger public. For what it's worth, I really liked the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Free-Range-Kids-Children-Freedom-Without/dp/0470471948/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265121075&sr=8-1" rel="nofollow">Free Range Kids</a> (I actually borrowed it from the library), which at least allays the media-manufactured feeling that we live in (unprecedentedly) dangerous times, and even offers some baby steps (for a range of ages) for learning to let go of some of the fear and let your kid have a childhood. [Not offering this as judgement, by any means, but just because I think it's the opposite of our natural instinct and a right-feeling kind of support for finding your own way.] I look forward to sending my kid down the block for some cat food with one of the book's "Yes, my mom knows I'm out here alone" notes someday. :) Anyway, every little bit helps... I know what you mean about the fear-of-loss. I don’t think it haunts me in a continual manner, but I do know that my reaction to (the very common) fictional portrayals of kids in danger — whether it’s the driving force for a testosterone-driven action movie or the story of some child as a hospital patient — is completely different now that I am a parent. I’m much more likely to overreact, or get teary, at the worry or at the breathless reunion, sometimes more likely to feel bitter about the manipulation, sometimes almost unable to watch. I suspect that that won’t diminish with time, which is perhaps why those stories continue to work for the larger public.

For what it’s worth, I really liked the book Free Range Kids (I actually borrowed it from the library), which at least allays the media-manufactured feeling that we live in (unprecedentedly) dangerous times, and even offers some baby steps (for a range of ages) for learning to let go of some of the fear and let your kid have a childhood. [Not offering this as judgement, by any means, but just because I think it's the opposite of our natural instinct and a right-feeling kind of support for finding your own way.] I look forward to sending my kid down the block for some cat food with one of the book’s “Yes, my mom knows I’m out here alone” notes someday. :) Anyway, every little bit helps…

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