Medley

There are plenty of things I don’t have well-formed opinions about, plenty of things I haven’t seen enough data to have an opinion about, and plenty of things I just don’t bother to have opinions about. I think the things I do have an opinion about tend to fall into 3 classes:

• Those that I bother to verbalize and argue (rant, rave, blog, tweet sarcastically, etc.) about (AKA I’m right, this issue is probably an important (IMO) policy issue, and those who think differently are most likely wrong; if I didn’t think I was right, I’d think differently after all, amirite?)[*]
• Those that I might bother to verbalize but really couldn’t be arsed to argue about (AKA I’m right, but that you think differently makes no difference to me or the world, but still, I’m right), and
• Those that I think quietly to myself but don’t bother to verbalize.

My reasons for not bothering to verbalize some opinions/points of view vary by context and circumstance. On mommy-war kinds of questions, I tend to have pretty strong opinions, but mostly refrain from weighing in because I don’t much see the point. I’ll parent the way I parent. I read and listen to  a lot of tips and strategies and adjust my practices accordingly when I think it might help, but it’s not my business if you feed your kid Twinkies (or whatever the sin du jour is).  Also, let’s get real–setting aside the drain on society that results from juvenile delinquents who become criminals–if you mis-parent your child and I parent mine well, then the advantage is to my child, right? So, really, it’s in his interest for all the other parents out there to screw up their kids. I kid! I kid! Ok, I sorta’ kid. Anyway, the upshot is that while I have somewhat-to-extremely strong views about almost every parenting issue, I tend not to pick fights over them.  Similarly, I see no point in arguing about, say, modern biology with a young-Earther. Because, really, how could that end well?  And, obviously, I try not to argue over things that are merely matters of taste or style (except for the Oxford comma – I have pretty strong feelings about that!).

A third class of things, I tend not to write about (and yet still do have opinions about) are issues where I’ve read a bit, come to a semi-informed conclusion, but have decided it just isn’t a battle I can fight. And sometimes that’s really not the right thing to do, because on certain kinds of issues “silence = assent.” And the interests of social justice are not well-served by well-meaning people remaining quiet simply because it’s not their particular battle. There is a fine line here, of course. I recognize that in some respects I would be speaking from a position of privilege or ignorance, and my voice may not be welcome or useful, even if I were trying to be supportive.  But there are situations where vocalized support could help raise awareness of an issue or, at least, help make sure those doing the heavy-lifting know they are not alone.

This has implications for my weblog, here – apart from not having any time to do much writing here – I’ve also been reticent to do quick posts or links about things that I find interesting or important but are outside of the typical set of things I blather on about (and that for the most part I feel well-informed about). I fear I can’t do the issues justice, or that I don’t have time to do all the cross-linking and reference-finding that I want to. Or I’m just lazy, I don’t know.

But more and more, I’ve found myself wanting to spotlight a particular topic. So I may try to do that more often – even if it’s not my topic, and even if I may not have time to do more than point to a couple of things and say “hey, be aware.” And, it means that I may start saying a bit more about some of the mommy-war stuff — I will endeavor to be as non-judge-y as possible, but there may be some things in which another voice in support is a good thing (and not just adding more noise to the cacophony, I hope – we’ll see).

* Please note the tongue-in-cheek nature of this characterization. If I’m not completely sleep-deprived, I actually am a pretty good listener. And my INTJ-nature means that I’m an avid consumer of data and new information and argumentation. I do change my mind, but… the bar is pretty high, partly because I’m spoiled by working with many seriously brilliant people every day.